Spam Land

"Hoist the engines, man the lazers, we're going in!"
- Avatar Fenix, battle of Danubre

"Anyone need a light?"
- Lord Meee, twelve seconds before burning down a city

"Oh I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention at the briefing. Next time I'll try to keep them alive."
- Marinecorp, battle of Rome

"I grow tired of your petty attempts at witty banter. "
- ItzaHexGor, just before decapicitating his king.

"All of you are horrid beings and do not deserve to be in the golden realm I and my brothers will create"
- Avatar Rennes, battle of Danubre

 

The sweat burned my eyes. Blinking hard I tried to focus. I needed to focus. Only a cold blooded creature could consider a castle full of lava as its home. My overalls felt like they weighed a ton. My movements were all in slow motion. Even my moustache was drenched through. As the heat pressed in from all sides I wanted to give up. From the glint in his red eyes I could tell that’s what he was waiting for. If it was just me maybe it would have been O.K. to just curl up and die, but she was counting on me, her and the entire Mushroom Kingdom. If he had laid one hand upon her soft flaxen hair so help me I would…
Damn. I had let my mind wander and he had seen it. A toothy grin spread across Bowser’s face as he exhaled. The flaming expulsion from his bowels hurled towards me. He was gloating already that bastard. This was my chance. I summoned all the strength I had left and blindly leapt forward. With my eyes squeezed shut, I felt the intense heat of the fireball pass beneath my feet. I just might do it. I forced my eyes open. Seeing that look on Bowser’s face invigorated me more than a thousand cold showers. He knew that death had finally come for him. I started to descend. My thick steel toed boots made contact with the vile lizard’s skull. My full weight slammed his head into the stonework bridge. With a sickening crunch it was over. Bowser was dead. There was no time to celebrate or to consider how I was going to wash the reptile brains from my overalls, a crack had formed where we had landed and it was starting to splinter the walkway. I ran. The stones behind me fell away. I heard the sizzle from Bowser’s corpse hitting the lava but I did not stop. I ran. I saw her face again. My princess. I jumped as the last piece of the bridge gave way.

My fingers clutched the shiny handle of an ax stuck into the ground at the edge of the precipice. My feet dangled over the remnants of the bridge sinking into the red hot lava. The sweat on my hands was already making my grip falter. I quickly pulled myself up. I pulled the ax out of its mount and carried it with me to the door that lay ahead. With one swing I splintered the lock and pushed the door open. I cool breeze escaped from the darkness with in the cell.

In the corner was a huddled mass. I approach delicately, becoming fully aware of my own stench and filth. I was just an plumber from Brooklyn. How could I even think she could love me? But no, the dirt that stained my clothes, that was from battling the tyrants that had enslaved her people. I reeked of a man fighting to free the woman heloved. She would understand. She always did. Just to touch that hair again. I reach forward. “Princess?” The figure gazed up at me with a thankful but saddened look. “Thank you Mario. But our princess is in another castle!”

 

pretty decent.





Let's see, what would SA Aurora have to say?

"plasma beam, laser beam or energy beam... Dear designer of the universe, I could have done with just one, but thank you for granting me just that extra bit."

 

Fallout New Vegas with Ennio Morricone's greatest hits in the background.

I could die happy.

 

Yet another fun webcomic, called Girl Genius.

 

I just threw a game because I forgot I had a ****load of lings clawing away at destructables... I could've won.

You know as much I'm no big player or nerd in general, the fact that I did this huge ****ing mistake that I'd never done before makes me mad. Especially when my ratio is so bad... every game counts.

 

Affliction
Bane of Doom base damage has been reduced by 12%, from 2213 to 1948.
Bane of Agony base damage has been reduced by 12%, from 1743 to 1535.
Drain Soul base damage has been reduced by 12%, from 437 to 384.
Drain Life base damage has been reduced by 12%, from 125 to 109.
Corruption base damage has been reduced by 12%, from 1004 to 883.
Jinx now affects up to 15 nearby targets.

Demonology
Hand of Gul'dan base damage has been reduced by 12%, from [ 1597 - 1886 ] to [ 1405 - 1660 ]

Destruction
Chaos Bolt base damage has been reduced by 12%, from [ 1490 - 1893 ] to [ 1311 - 1665 ]
Shadowburn base damage has been reduced by 12%, from [ 737 - 823 ] to [ 649 - 724 ]
Fel Flame base damage has been reduced by 12%, from [ 251 - 291 ] to [ 220 - 256 ]
Shadowflame cooldown has been changed to 12 sec, down from 25 sec.
Incinerate base damage has been reduced by 12%, from [ 579 - 673 ] to [ 510 - 592 ]
Soul Fire base damage has been reduced by 12%, from [ 2468 - 3094 ] to [ 2171 - 2722 ].
Searing Pain base damage has been reduced by 12%, from [ 322 - 382 ] to [ 283 - 336 ].
Immolate base damage has been reduced by 12%, from [ 756 + 2401 over 15 sec ] to [ 665 + 2112 over 15 sec ].
Shadow Bolt base damage has been reduced by 12%, from [ 640 to 714 ] to [ 563 to 629 ].

 

somebody picked up the nerfhammer

 

I haven't played WoW in ages, but seriously. FDS.

Warlocks must be the suck now.

It's like Blizz is like "Hey guys, you know how Warlocks are finally useful? Let's change that" and took a giant **** on Destro locks.

 

dw, they just were so incredibly op, that it was getting ridiculous

 

The reduced cooldown on shadowflame is nice though. Able to do an AoE stun every 12 seconds.

 

My main is a lock.

 

wow, kick-*** is actually a pretty decent movie. A lot more comedy than the comic ever was, true dat, but still quite fun.

 

[youtube]Fmn-g8FDUek[/youtube]

the last one is the best.

 

[youtube]hNatvLe18ro[/youtube]

 

http://catladies.tumblr.com/

Sometimes I can't decide whether I love the internet, or hate it.

 

how about loving hating it?

 

I'm going with hating to love it.

 

Seeing that just made me start chuckling and shake my head.

Oh, internet.