day 1: This morning, I found myself woken by the sound of crowing. To my surprise, I was in a tree. Must have been some night. Yarno was probably right when he told me to cut down on the drinking. Man, did my head hurt. I do wonder how I got to this area. It doesn't appear familiar to me. It seems to be a swamp, which I was not aware existed near Amsterdam. It would make a lot of sense though, what with all the water and rain. After a short period of walking, I found myself a small village. It seems to be an amish (didn't know those lived near Amsterdam either) community, as it lacks completely in electricity and there is no paved road in sight. The village was completely abandoned, and appears to have been abandoned for some time. There are no unspoiled food supplies, the town is covered in tall grass, and in several places the ground seems to have collapsed, leaving several doors out of reach. I found this book in one of the houses. Since it was the only empty book (the rest were written in a weird alphabet) I found, I used it to start this log. No clue how to get home. Maybe smoke signals? p.s. If you find me dead and there are no further notes, its because the mushrooms were poisonous. If not, you'll find a recipe for mushroom soup in the back of the book. day 2 I think I know why this village is empty. When I scouted the village this morning, I found two piles of bones, with a number of arrows scattered around them. It seems there was a fight. That seems weird for the amish, since buddhists dont fight. Or were the amish hindu? Should check wikipedia when I get home. I totally panicked when I found the bones, but now that I have thought about it, I shouldn't worry. There are less bones then there are houses (8 houses in total), so the village must have evacuated after the battle. And since the attackers didn't move in, they probably have no interest in the village. I hope. Still, it seems like a better idea than getting lost in the wilderness. During my scouting of the village, I moved some dirt to reach the out of reach doors. Hoped to find some clue on where I was. Nope. One house had a ton of books, while the other building seemed to be a guardtower. Did get a decent sight from there. The swamp is to the north (that's where the sun rises, right?), there is a lake to the west, rolling hills to the south and mountains to the east. I think that means I am in luxembourg, or maybe even Belgium. Which would be weird, since my clothes smell like cheap vodka, not good beer. I also found a few eggs, and managed to get a fire going. day 3 I got the biggest scare last night: a massive, massive spider was outside my window. Must have been at least a meter wide, if not more. Though those kinds of spiders only appeared in australia. Must have escaped from a local zoo. Hope that means I am close to a city. or even the amish. Man, I could go for one of their burrito's. I went for a swim in the lake to the west this afternoon. It was nice and refreshing. It's way too hot for the current time of year. Must be due to global warming. Stupid fishing industry and its carbon emmisions. The lake was very very deep. Couldn't reach the bottom, no matter how hard I tried. Exhausted now, gonna go to sleep after eating some more mushroom soup (man that stuff is great). day 4 My sleep rhytm is way off. Must have slept for at least 12 hours, judging by the position of the sun. Last three nights have been like that. Gonna search around the village for more mushrooms, almost out of the red ones. Oh my god! I found a huge gem north of the village. This thing is the size of my fist and green. I also found more bones nearby. Could this be what the amish were attacked for? Man, this thing is pretty. I should probably keep it hidden, so that if the attackers come back, I can claim I have no clue where it is. After that, I'm gonna go towards the rolling hills. I'm dead. I'm so very very dead. I climbed the hill. From there, I could see kilometres into the distance. I saw a desert. There is no desert in Europe. Deserts only appear in the middle east. I must be so far away from home right now. I have no idea how I got here. The only good news is that I finally figured out what religion the amish are. Since I am in a desert, and deserts are in the middle east, that means that the amish live in the middle east. Ergo, they are muslims. That means that they eat meat! Hurray! I hope that when I meet them, I can trade some of my knowledge for some pork. How much do you think knowledge of the wheel is worth to the amish? Going to sleep now, thinking about my options.
out of character: They are a real-life group of christian protestants living in communities within the united states and live without using any electricity.
day 5: I don't think the amish will return anytime soon, and I'm completely out of red mushrooms. If I want any more of the soup (page 126 for the recipe), I'll have to find some. I haven't been that deeply into the swamp, so I'm pretty scared. If you find this log and I'm not back within a day, I'm dead. Please sent the gem to my mother, and the recipe for my mushroom soup to oprah. It's frigging fantastic! HAHA! Guess what I found in the swamp? My backpack! Tons of useful stuff in there. A phone (no signal at the moment), some diet bars, a short sword (I never get why people would carry a mace to a party, they're so unelegant), and, best of all, my laptop. Sure it has no internet, but I was prepared for that! I HAVE A SITERIP OF WIKIPEDIA! MUAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Since the battery is fairly limited (the how to: recharge a laptop battery article said something about a red stone), I will have to keep using this book for my diary. The article about the amish has obviously been trolled. It claims they are protestants! Ridiculous. I have seen protestant people watch tv! Stupid internet trolls. Even in amish villages, they manage to hurt me. Still haven't figured out where I am. The weather seems tropical, which would imply I'm in indonesia. That does fit with the ridiculous amounts of water to the north and east. The desert would make less sense, but its probably just there because its in the middle east. Gonna go sleep now.
Best minecraft story ever, loving it! <3 Lol @ wheels in minecraft, nice touch. Never realized that they're pretty much the only proper round things.
Day 6: This morning, I made an interesting discovery. I woke up early because I was hungry as a hippo and was forced to make my soup without any red mushrooms (buggers must be pretty rare). Turns out brown mushrooms are hallucionegics (or something like that), and I spent all morning tripping out. I saw the weirdest F-ing things. I saw four legged green thingies and tall shadow-men, walking around my house. I saw the amish come back as zombies and skeletons. It was weird man. I eventually passed out. Have to remember to take some of this stuff with me to grow my own. Day 7: I found an old abandoned mine shaft this morning. Covered in spider-webs and the like. Was afraid to go very far (remember that big spider I saw earlier?), but I did find a chest with some red stuff and some iron. According to the wiki rip, I can make paint out of that stuff. Gonna climb up the mountain later today to get a good view of my surroundings. Hey, I'm back. Thanks to my 1337 art major skills (english was my minor), I was able to make a map. I was already drawing the map cubist-style when I remembered this wasn't an assignment. Oh well.
