Re: 12) Where the Dust Fell

A decent poem. Well done.

 

A couple parts don't flow quite well but most of it goes very smoothly well done.

 

worth reading

 

I like this one. It's great!

 

I like this one a lot. It's very abstract and not at all childish.

Very well done. The metaphors were nice.

I like the reference to the hills and the cannons.

Dust fell here.

 

it's a nice poem but i felt the middle verse(3rd) was quite weak

 

I don't know what you mean, I thought the 3rd stanza was the strongest of the poem.

Of course, the word space detracts a bit as it makes it sound "cheap," but worse words could have been picked.

 

i was left with the feeling that you reached for something and didn't quite make it... well, you observed the structure you chose, and I suppose you deserve some props for that - but basically this felt like an old car with a good engine - it could've used a paint job and some vacuuming - good effort tho, pz

 

This just might get a vote when the admin decides to put up the poll

 

Excellent poem, the feeling and vivid details are fantastic! I liked how you never actually used a starcraft unit name or something. Whoever wrote this is hella good!