You have seen the advertisements, you have seen the developer videos... heck, you have even seen the creature creator! That is enough seeing for one pair of eyes, right? Wrong. You have only just started. I am here to open your eyes to the colorful, juicy, and )now that I've stopped the bleeding) clean insides of Spore in all of their writing, living gory. Erm, glory. Bad introduction paragraphs with crappy extended metaphors aside, let's move on. From the very start, Spore was an aggravating challenge of twists, turns, and screwed up installation problems. However, once I broke out of my human idiocy shell, I was able to stop myself from trying to mess with files as they installed and finally found the .exe to run it. And run it I did. The usual assortment of company splash screens and epilepsy warnings, I came to the Spore logo. I maxed out my volume, prepared for a slow introductory movie that gradually crescendos. My ears exploded at the same time the logo did, and my eyes shortly after upon encountering the shimmering design of twisting colors that will soon become an indicator of something new and exciting happening in-game. After a medley of beasties danced their way through the stages, I was brought to the galactic home screen. Once I created by username, I found the always-present New Game button hidden among the planets in orbit, and began my adventure. Stage 1: Cell And we're off! A menu popped up, allowing me to start the cell stage, with hints at my future stages. The option of diet was my first choice, and carnivorous seemed to be more alluring. I named my creature (Eatkin! Yay!) and began. Hey, another chance to write! This one in the form of a movie. A very asteroid-y, graphics-intensive movie. First impression: Low requirements so far... except for a good graphics card. Second impression: "Awwwww!" The cutest little cell I ever hatched out of an asteroid came under my control. Small pop up messages taught me how to eat the floating meat-bits and how to grow. happy was I when I discovered 'P' was pause when my cat knocked over my root beer. Feline antics, however, were unable to stop my from growing a couple sizes with few run-ins with predators. And then... OMGWTFBBQ?! That thing is epic-big! Suddenly, a legendary feeling came over me: I wanted to eat that sucker. It was currently distracted with some weakling herbivores, so I sneaked closer... and closer... then I swam at it full force! Bam! I bumped in to it, causing it to turn and take a bite at me. both mentally and physically injured, I swam away and called for a mate. Come she did, and I was brought to the cell creator. A bit of fiddling, and I ended up with Eatkin, the four-spiked one-eyed cell wonder! I checked out (black stripes notwithstanding) and... was promptly eaten. Luck seemed to be on my side, however, as I was reincarnated in to another Eatkin egg... and again... and again... Wow, I suck. If this was a real slime pool, my species would have died out eons ago. However, I eventually ate my way to the next stage, where the land-walking power of legs became mine: Creature.
